Something to think about....

I was a little frustrated today because when I was working this morning I realized that because my ceramics teacher had needed my help with his computer I got distracted. So I forgot to cover my two cylinders that I threw that eventually will be put together to make a taller piece. I am copying a piece by Scheier which you will see below:This is part of a project we are working on in the class. I am an advanced student and this piece is proving to be a bit difficult for me but I wanted a challenge. I have to do it in two parts because its 14 inches tall and 9.75 inches wide. The second piece I make will be using methods I learned from this artist with a environmental theme.

Anyway I was frustrated that I had to go to school to cover the cylinders because otherwise they will get too dry. It is an hour bus ride from here to there. Well since I was gonna be there anyway I figured I would do the shopping I was gonna do today anyway across the street from class at their smart and final which turned out to be a good thing I saved some money. I also had some lunch while I was at it. Kind of my way of making up for the long bus ride both ways and killing two birds with one stone in the same place.

The thought provoking thing happened on the way home. It happened at the corner where I catch the second bus. As my current bus went through the intersection I saw a police suv stop by the bus stop. At first I was all oh crap not again. Police using the bus stop to take care of business.

It turned out there was an old homeless man laying on the sidewalk in the shade there. He may have been drunk I don't know for sure. I know the police guy talked to him for a while and the man tried to get up a few times and kept falling down. Another police guy came and they both talked to the old man for a while. Finally the old guy moved on but he was weaving alot. The first police guy moved on but the second one was keeping watch on him.

I was so worried about the guy. I also felt bad for him because he either has no one to take care of him or is too prideful to accept help. It made me grateful for what I have. I do not make alot of money and I am in debt to my ears. However, I have a roof over my head with free internet, free cable etc. I am able to get food and necessities. I can even get things that are frivolous like gum. My life is not the most ideal but I am in better shape than some people. I am grateful and humble to my place.

When I got on the bus there was another homeless man whom it was clear was not always homeless. He had lots of tattoos. It once again reminded me that even though I don't have alot of money at least I have a place to sleep and work.

Please take a moment and be thankful for the things you have. Remember the less fortunate and try when you can to give to charities that take care of them. Homeless people are human beings too and they could be you very easily.

Too long without a thought...no just interalizing....

Thoughts are always in my head. I think every day about everything and nothing. What does this have to do with the blog? Everything and nothing.

Its been over a year since I put a thought here. I have alot of reasons and excuses for why not. Some of them legit reasons and some are excuses as I said. The major reason I have not posted is on December 1, 2008 I broke my fifth metatarsal bone in my right foot. It is a major pain in the butt to recover from. It took 7 months to fully recover. In some ways because of that I lost some momentum but that is coming back.

During the recovery time and the time after that I have spend alot of time working on myself and my own inner peace. There was also some time put into World of Warcraft and reconnecting with old friends but thats beside the point. ;)

As I took the time to find myself and rearrange many of my priorities alot of positive grew in my life. A piece I did in my ceramics class that I got an incomplete in is and has been on display at school as part of a mural of shoes and purses. Mine is a boot with huts, and a totem pole of sorts. Its a unique piece and when I found out it made it on display I felt like I made it as an artist.

Something else happened to me that I am still thrilled beyond words over. Someone who lives far away from me wrote a song about and for me. It was truly an honor to be an inspiration and the song helps me when I am feeling down and having difficulty. It gives me hope even when life has got me down.

I learned more about myself in the past year than I have in a long time. I have always been able as a person to know where I am and what I feeling better than most. As a former boyfriend said I am probably the most self aware person he knows.

For the past year I have been told over and over again I am amazing and awesome. I think its sweet and nice of people to say that but I am just a human being. I am not perfect nor do I ever expect to be great. I like to dream and hope that I will accomplish great things. But I live in reality and if it does not happen I will not hate myself. I am proud of the accomplishments I have made so far.

I feel a great deal of affinity toward people who are close to my age who I have watched become household names because of things they have done as I have grown up. In a small way I feel like I am connected to them. They all have dreams and hopes just like me. Today I was saddened when I read that Corey Haim passed away. He was only two years older than me.

I hope that he will rest in peace.

He means something because he has made an impact on the world. He made a difference in some people's lives. Sure he did not live a perfect life and I think that sometimes he struggled with life and all its ups and downs. However, honestly who doesn't and that is why I feel connected. I am bi-polar and so I struggle regularly with ups and downs more so than alot of people. I sympathize with anyone who struggles with life because I am there and have been there.

I wish I could go and give his family a hug and tell them that I am sorry and that it will be alright. But that is hard to see at this time. At the end of last year I lost someone who was like family to me. I was actually there when she passed away. It was a quiet and peaceful death but it still was painful for us who were left behind. I miss her but I know her daughter misses her the most.

Despite it all sad and good I am starting to see a positive momentum in my life. I feel like things are finally falling into place. I hit road blocks here and there but each road block or misstep gives me strength and shows me a new way to go and see. I see that many of the dreams I have been dreaming my entire life are finding their way to me. I still have a long journey before I seem them all come true but its happening.

I was under a rock for a while but I am finally coming out to let my light shine.